grandma jokes

140 Grandma Jokes to Make Your Family Laugh Out Loud

Grandma jokes have a special charm that brings smiles to everyone’s faces. These jokes are perfect for family gatherings, adding a touch of humor and warmth to the occasion. Whether you’re looking for something funny to share with the kids or a quick joke to lighten the mood, there’s a grandma joke for every moment.

In this article, you’ll find a delightful collection of jokes that are sure to make you laugh and create memorable moments with your loved ones. Get ready to enjoy some of the best grandma jokes that will bring joy and laughter to your family.

Classic Funny Grandma Jokes


These timeless jokes have been shared across generations, proving that good humor never gets old. Classic grandma jokes often feature gentle wit and wholesome fun, making them suitable for all ages. Enjoy a selection of jokes that have stood the test of time and continue to bring laughter.

1. Shout out to my grandma… That’s the only way she can hear.

2. My grandma’s so good at knitting, she can stitch up any situation.

3. Grandma started walking five miles a day when she turned 60. She’s 97 now, and we have no idea where she is.

4. My grandma always has an ace up her sleeve, which is impressive since she only plays Go Fish.

5. Grandma’s cookies are so good, even the cookie jar is on a diet.

6. When I told my grandma I had a chip on my shoulder, she asked if I wanted dip with that.

7. My grandma once told me, “Age is just a number,” then she asked me to set the TV volume to 87.

8. Grandma’s hugs are like a quilt – they can warm you up even on the coldest days.

9. My grandma’s so wise, even the owls ask her for advice.

10. Grandma’s house is like the Bermuda Triangle – things just disappear in there.

11. When I asked my grandma if she wanted to play hide and seek, she said, “Not with my new hip.”

12. My grandma says she’s not old, she’s just been young for a very long time.

13. Whenever I misbehave, my grandma tells me to be good or I’ll end up like one of her old TV shows – cancelled.

14. My grandma doesn’t need a superhero cape; her apron does the trick.

15. Grandma’s bedtime stories are so good, even the neighbors fall asleep.

Funny Grandma Jokes for Kids

Grandmas love making their grandkids laugh, and these jokes are perfect for just that. Kid-friendly humor that is light-hearted and silly can create wonderful bonding moments. Discover jokes that will have children giggling and asking for more.

1. Grandma said she needed to take a nap, but she’s just practicing for her Olympic sleeping event.

2. My grandma is like a magician – every time she walks into the kitchen, cookies appear.

3. Grandma’s rocking chair is her time machine; she can rock back to any year she wants.

4. When Grandma tells a story, even the vegetables listen.

5. My grandma says she’s not spoiled, she’s just been loved a lot for a long time.

6. Grandma’s glasses are so strong, she can see what I’m thinking.

7. When I asked Grandma why she still had a landline, she said it’s because it can’t run away.

8. My grandma once told me she has the same amount of hours in a day as a giraffe; she’s just a little shorter.

9. Grandma’s knitting needles are her magic wands – she can turn yarn into anything!

10. Whenever Grandma’s phone rings, she says, “Someone’s calling to see how awesome I am.”

11. My grandma said if you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by her and she’ll teach you some manners.

12. Grandma’s so sweet, even the honeybees get jealous.

13. When I visit Grandma, she tells me I’m her favorite – just don’t tell my siblings.

14. My grandma’s so cool, even the penguins want to hang out with her.

15. Grandma’s cookie recipe is a family secret, but she says the secret ingredient is always love.

16. Whenever Grandma babysits, she tells me it’s her secret mission to spoil me rotten.

17. My grandma said she doesn’t need a smartphone because she’s already smart.

18. Grandma’s hugs are like magic – they make all the boo-boos go away.

19. When I asked Grandma what’s for dinner, she said, “Whatever you help me make.”

20. My grandma is the best storyteller, and she never even uses a book.

21. Grandma always says the best way to a kid’s heart is through the kitchen.

22. When I told Grandma I wanted to be an astronaut, she said, “You’ve already taken off in my heart.”

23. My grandma says laughter is the best medicine, and she’s got the best pharmacy.

24. When Grandma plays hide and seek, she always finds me because her love is like a radar.

25. Grandma’s favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch – she calls it lunch.

26. Whenever I’m with Grandma, it feels like Christmas morning all over again.

27. Grandma says she’s got so many grandkids, she’s thinking of forming a sports team.

28. When Grandma hears a good joke, she says, “I’ll have to remember that for bingo night.”

29. My grandma’s baking is so good, even the cookie monsters are fans.

30. Grandma’s laugh is so contagious, even the neighbors catch it.

Short Grandma Jokes

Sometimes, the best jokes are the short and snappy ones that deliver a quick burst of laughter. These short grandma jokes are easy to remember and perfect for any occasion. Share these quick quips to bring a smile to someone’s face instantly.

1. Grandma’s so good at hide and seek, even her wrinkles have creases.

2. When Grandma goes to the store, she buys the whole store.

3. Grandma’s favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch – she calls it lunch.

4. Grandma’s cooking is so good, it’s five-star Michelin rated in our hearts.

5. My grandma’s sewing skills are so sharp, even her needles are scared.

6. Grandma says she’s not old, she’s just well-seasoned.

7. When Grandma tells a joke, even the punchline laughs.

8. Grandma’s hugs are better than any superhero’s cape.

9. When Grandma dances, even the floor feels special.

10. My grandma’s so stylish, even her knitting needles are designer.

Silly Grandma Puns

Puns are a playful and clever form of humor that many grandmas adore. These silly puns will tickle your funny bone with their witty wordplay. Enjoy a collection of puns that are sure to amuse and delight.

1. Grandma’s knitting is so knotty, it’s a yarn-spinning adventure.

2. I asked Grandma for a joke, and she said, “I’m a pun in a million.”

3. When Grandma makes soup, she always has thyme on her hands.

4. Grandma said her garden was growing “mint” condition herbs.

5. My grandma is berry good at making jam.

6. When Grandma told me she was baking, I knew she was on a roll.

7. Grandma’s jokes always “crack” me up, especially during breakfast.

8. I told Grandma she’s a-maize-ing, and she said I’m corny.

9. Grandma’s puns are so grate, they always cheese me off.

10. When Grandma told me she was a “quilter,” I knew she was sew right.

11. Grandma said she’s been “sew” busy with her sewing projects.

12. I asked Grandma how she was feeling, and she said, “I’m dandy as a lion.”

13. Grandma’s pie-making skills are “crust” worthy.

14. When Grandma watches a drama, she calls it a “knit” flick.

15. I told Grandma she lights up my life, and she said, “Watt a shocker!”

16. Grandma’s garden is so full of flowers, it’s un-be-leaf-able.

17. When Grandma gives advice, she says, “Take it with a grain of salt.”

18. I asked Grandma if she likes to cook, and she said, “That’s my jam!”

19. Grandma said she’s not old, she’s just “aged to perfection.”

20. When Grandma found her glasses, she said, “Eye see you!”

Grandma Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock-knock jokes are a classic format that never fails to entertain, and grandmas often have the best ones up their sleeves. These jokes are perfect for engaging conversations and bringing a playful element to any interaction. Dive into some knock-knock jokes that will have everyone laughing.

1. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Granny who?
Granny body home?

2. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yarn who?
Yarn’t you going to let me in?

3. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s Grandma!

4. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter who?
Butter let Grandma in before she gets cold!

5. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nanna who?
Nanna your business, but Grandma’s here!

6. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just Grandma!

7. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive who?
Olive you, Grandma!

8. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you know Grandma’s here?

9. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peas who?
Peas let Grandma in!

10. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Basil who?
Basil of my heart, it’s Grandma!

Cute Grandma Jokes

Cute jokes highlight the sweet and loving nature of grandmas. These jokes are heartwarming and endearing, making them perfect for sharing during family time. Discover jokes that are as cute as they are funny, capturing the essence of grandma’s charm.

1. My grandma always says, “You can’t have a rainbow without a little rain,” and then she hands me a cookie.

2. Grandma told me she loves me to the moon and back – and then some.

3. When I asked Grandma what makes her happy, she said, “Hugs from you and chocolate cake.”

4. Grandma’s kisses are like fairy dust; they make everything magical.

5. My grandma says she’s not old, she’s just a classic – like a vintage car.

6. Grandma’s hugs are so warm, they can melt the coldest of days.

7. Every time I visit Grandma, she says, “You are the apple of my eye,” and gives me an apple pie.

8. Grandma’s knitting is so cozy, it feels like a hug from her.

9. My grandma says she has a PhD in TLC (tender loving care).

10. Whenever I feel sad, Grandma always knows how to turn my frown upside down.

11. My grandma’s heart is so big, it could hold the whole world.

12. Grandma says she has a recipe for happiness, and it starts with a hug.

13. My grandma’s stories are like treasure chests, full of wisdom and wonder.

14. When Grandma bakes, the whole house smells like love.

15. Grandma always knows the right thing to say, even when words are hard to find.

16. When I asked Grandma what her secret to a happy life was, she said, “Love, laughter, and a lot of cookies.”

17. Grandma’s laugh is like a melody, sweet and soothing to the soul.

18. Every visit to Grandma’s house feels like a mini-vacation filled with joy and treats.

19. Grandma says she’s not just a grandma; she’s my biggest fan and best friend.

20. When Grandma tucks me in at night, she says, “Sweet dreams, my little star,” and suddenly, I’m floating among the stars.

Heartwarming Grandma Stories with a Twist

Sometimes, a story with a humorous twist is the best way to capture attention and entertain. These short stories highlight the warmth and wisdom of grandmas while ending with a clever punchline. Enjoy tales that combine storytelling with humor, leaving a lasting impression.

1. The Baking Lesson

Grandma loved baking cookies with her grandkids, teaching them her secret recipes passed down through generations. One day, as they were baking together, she shared her secret ingredient: a pinch of love. Just as the kids were about to add the “love,” Grandma winked and said, “And a whole lot of sugar, too!”

2. The Gardening Secret

Grandma’s garden was the envy of the neighborhood, filled with vibrant flowers and lush vegetables. She told her grandchildren that her secret was singing to the plants every morning. When they peeked one day, they found Grandma belting out her favorite rock songs, proving that even plants appreciate a good jam session.

3. The Knitting Mystery

Every winter, Grandma would knit cozy sweaters for the family, each one more intricate than the last. Her grandkids asked how she learned to knit so well. With a twinkle in her eye, Grandma said, “I had to get good – the cat kept unraveling everything until I made it a sweater, too!”

4. The Storytime Surprise

Grandma’s bedtime stories were legendary, filled with knights, dragons, and magical lands. One night, she told a tale about a brave knight who saved the kingdom. At the end, she revealed, “And that knight was your grandpa – who bravely fixed the leaky roof last week!”

5. The Wisdom of Age

Grandma always seemed to know the right advice for any situation. When her granddaughter asked how she became so wise, Grandma replied, “Years of practice, dear.” Then, with a grin, she added, “And a few mistakes that turned into funny stories!”

6. The Cooking Class

Grandma’s cooking was legendary, and she decided to teach her grandkids her culinary secrets. As they were chopping and stirring, she told them the key to a great meal was patience and care. Then she whispered, “And never forget the secret ingredient – the smoke alarm going off means dinner’s ready!”

7. The Exercise Routine

To stay fit, Grandma had a daily exercise routine that included a brisk walk. She told her grandkids that it was important to keep moving. One day, they saw her marching around the house with her favorite cookies in hand, saying, “Gotta work for these treats!”

8. The Secret to Happiness

Grandma always seemed so happy and full of life. Her grandkids asked her what her secret was. She leaned in close and said, “A positive attitude, a bit of chocolate every day, and pretending not to hear the bad stuff!”

9. The Magical Garden

Grandma’s garden was not only beautiful but also seemed magical. She told her grandkids that fairies visited every night to help it grow. One night, they stayed up late to see the fairies and found Grandma in the garden, sprinkling glitter and saying, “Every garden needs a little magic – and a lot of sparkle!”

10. The Family Quilt

Grandma was working on a family quilt, adding pieces of old clothes and fabric with stories behind them. She explained that each patch represented a family memory. When she finished, she wrapped the kids in it and said, “Now you’re part of the family history – and a bit warmer too!”

11. The Birthday Wish

Every year, Grandma made a big deal about her birthday wish. She’d close her eyes, blow out the candles, and smile. One year, the grandkids asked what she wished for. With a sly grin, she said, “A new set of teeth – these keep slipping when I eat corn on the cob!”

12. The Hidden Treasure

Grandma loved telling stories of hidden treasures and adventures. She hinted that there was a hidden treasure in the house. The grandkids searched everywhere until they found a box under her bed filled with old photographs and letters. Grandma laughed and said, “The real treasure is our memories!”

13. The Pet’s Tale

Grandma’s cat, Whiskers, was always by her side, and she said he had a mysterious past. One day, she spun a tale about Whiskers being a secret agent. When the kids asked if it was true, Grandma winked and said, “He’s undercover – his mission is to steal hearts and laps!”

14. The Holiday Miracle

Every Christmas, Grandma would tell a new story about a holiday miracle. One year, she shared how she once saved Christmas by fixing the broken tree lights with her knitting needles. When the kids looked skeptical, she showed them the needles and said, “These aren’t just for yarn – they’re for holiday magic!”

15. The Morning Routine

Grandma had a strict morning routine that included reading the newspaper and drinking her tea. She told her grandkids that staying informed was the key to a good day. One morning, they found her with a comic book and a cup of hot chocolate. She smiled and said, “Sometimes, you just need a little fun to start the day right!”

Dark Humor Grandma Jokes

For those who appreciate a bit of cheeky humor, dark grandma jokes offer a playful edge. These jokes are for those who enjoy a twist of irony and a dash of boldness. Explore a selection of jokes that push the boundaries in a fun, light-hearted way.

1. Grandma says she’s seen it all, done it all, and can’t remember most of it.

2. My grandma always says, “I’m old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.”

3. Grandma’s idea of multitasking is messing up several things at once.

4. When I asked Grandma if she needed help crossing the street, she said, “Only if there’s a bar on the other side.”

5. Grandma said she used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6. My grandma told me she’s not scared of getting older – she’s scared of running out of wine.

7. Grandma says her house is haunted, but it’s just the ghosts of all the diets she tried.

8. I asked Grandma what her secret to a long life was, and she said, “Avoiding funerals.”

9. Grandma’s favorite hobby is complaining about things that don’t bother her.

10. When I told Grandma she should act her age, she said, “Not while I’m having this much fun.”

11. Grandma’s bucket list includes a wish to kick it before it kicks her.

12. My grandma said if I wanted a helping hand, I’d find one at the end of my arm.

13. Grandma’s new motto is, “Live every day like it’s your last, and one day you’ll be right.”

14. When Grandma talks about her age, she says, “I’m not old, I’m chronologically gifted.”

15. My grandma’s secret to a happy life: “Outlive your enemies.”

16. Grandma says she doesn’t suffer from insanity – she enjoys every minute of it.

17. When I asked Grandma how she stays so optimistic, she said, “By lowering my expectations.”

18. My grandma claims that the fountain of youth is probably filled with Botox.

19. Grandma’s garden grows beautiful flowers – and the occasional lost mailman.

20. When Grandma visits the doctor, she says, “I’m just here for the free magazines.”

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